Adet Petudui

The groom, according to the custom must sleep and stay at the bride's house and they must not go out of  the house for 3 days. During the adet petudui, the newly wed couple must serve each other with betel nut wrapped in 'sireh'.

After serving the 'balen' the newly wed couple are sent off bed and retired for bed times. The bride must wear special clothes (sarong) embroidered with golden thread. The mother of groom must place onto each couple hand a unit of gold bracelet and a gold plated bangle.

After the adet petudui, the guest will dance the traditional melanau dance called 'bertandak'. They will also exchange 'pantun' and continuously exchange called 'bermukun'. At midnight, there will be some kind of break. Hot tea together with local traditional melanau sago biscuits will be served.

Wedding Ceremony

The most important part of the Melanau marriage is surong brian (literally 'the bring toward of bride wealth). The surong brian is Melanau words is ' work of old and great '. 
Following the feast the groom's father will ask his selected family representative to present bride wealth (brian) to parent of the bride.
 The ' wakil ' also advice on how the different part of the ' surong brian ' should be allocated, and who will present on that. In order to achieve this end, the 'wakil' must be well-verses in traditional customary ritual and be able to speak elegantly and convincingly.
 A weight of gold valued must be placed in wooden receptacle according to the social rank of the bride.
In fact, the gold in the  'ulou brian' often has the value of more than on pikol of brass cannon.



Wedding day

The relative from both side will busy inviting the village folk to attend the wedding ceremony. In olden days, the invited visitors will bring forward gifts in form of chicken and rice but nowadays wrapped up gifts and cash are common.

About 10 o'clock, the bride and the entourage will first visit the groom's house. The groom parents herald the arrival of the bride and entourage and will be given a warm traditional welcome.

Betrothal Ceremony

An engagement is initial by the boy's parents who either go in person or send a representative to girl's parents' house to propose meeting.

A boy's parent will send the designated representative to the girl's parents to inquire the costume to marry ritual (called adet) and bride wealth the girl's parents demand for their daughter. Whatever the girl's parents ask for will be accepted without dispute.

The designated representative usually women who are of boy's parents (call wakil) are instructed as what request have been made.

Once the women designated representative agree as the betrothal dowry. They hand over the ceremony to the man's family to talk further about the ceremony to be held.

At the end of two or three months, the parents from both the boy and girl side discuss the date of wedding. The period of the engagement is from one to three years.

The betrothal ceremony